Because I Didn't Risk My Life For You
by Hathzur
Summary: A Different reaction from Rose to those hurtfull and awful four word said in the church sceane.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA. Enjoy:)**

"Love Fades Mine Has," He said.

"Right because Lissa was the one that went through hell even more hell, and is still trying to come back from it because Lissa was the one that risked the bit of good reputation she had left to chase a fairytale to bring you back to life,

because it was only her that bothered to tell your family what happened to you and proved that I was a worthy woman for you from Yeva.

Since Lissa is the perfect princess that can do no wrong and don't get me started on the sleep-deprived-" I was trying hard to keep my voice low when I got interrupted.

I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I was ready to give a piece of my mind to whoever was interrupting me. It turned out to be one of Dimitri's guardians that had his cell phone in his hand.

Biting my tongue from saying very colorful words,

I asked with a glare, "What?"

"Hathaway, you have a phone call." He said.

"Who?" I asked with irritation in my voice.

I saw Dimitri from the corner of my eye give the guy a look of pity.

As if saying that he knew what it was to receive my glares and my attitude. He had this expression a mixture of both exasperation and amusement that I used to see so many times.

"Some kid named Paul. He was terrified, and he said that-" I snatched the phone away immediately.

Knowing who it was, I ran outside while answering.

 _Rose? What's going on? Is everything okay?_

Lissa was talking to me through the bond, but I had no time for her.

Not this time.

"Paul? Paul!" I called out to him once I started hearing screaming and things shattering.

Panic was getting the best of me, and before I knew it, I was back at my room, grabbing the first bag and clothes that touched my hands.

"He's here. He's got a belt, and he's drunk Roza. I'm scared. He leaves and comes, and then he leaves, but he always makes sure that no one is around."

I froze.

No! No! NO!

It can't be happening again;

I'm not going to let this happen again!

"Hide, if he doesn't see you, he won't hurt you, but you have to be very quiet. Can you do that for your grandmother? Can you do that for me?" I asked him, trying to be calm and have him relaxed.

"Yes." Came a small whimper.

While he was scattering through the house, I placed him on speaker and used my phone to make a call.

I threw my passport and all my documents into the duffel bag.

"Hel- "

"I need the next plane ticket to Russia one way, no questions at the moment would be great. Send me the info ASAP. "

"Done, you have three hours to get there. I'll send Pavel to bring your motorcycle back. It's a nonstop flight, so you won't have to worry too much. A car will be ready for you at your last stop to get to Baia. Anything else?"

I was about to answer when I heard something smash from the other phone.

"Paul, are you okay!?" I called fearing for his life.

"Roza, I'm scared. I think he's drunker than last time." He said with fear in his voice.

"Listen to me. I won't let that monster hurt you." I said.

"Do you have something to write with?" I asked.

"Yeah." He said, fighting back his tears.

As I was giving him my number, I turned around only to see that my room seemed smaller with guardians. He and Dimitri's guardians were there. I grabbed my motorcycle keys and my helmet and walked out.

Heading to the garage, Dimitri and his guardians followed me.

"You got that?" I asked.

"Yes." He said.

"Good now stay hidden don't hang up just yet."

"Abe. Have another ticket, one way from here to there, but it's only back up. I'll give you the info later. Thanks, Dad," I said, knowing very well I had caught him off guard.

I also hang up.

"Paul, I have to hang up, call the number I gave you. I'll be there as soon as possible. Please be careful."

"Okay. The man just left, but I'm sure the man will be back later." He said, filled with dread in his voice.

I hung up.

I put on my helmet, turned on the motorcycle, and strapped my duffle bag on to my back.

I turned to the guardians. I handed back the cellphone to its owner.

"Thanks for calling," I said he nodded.

"If Lissa asks where I went. Just simply say that you lost track of me. Thanks, guys."

They all nodded at me in agreement without asking questions.

Turning to Dimitri with one look, I made yet another promise.

 _I promise that I'll make him understand never to come back. I'll keep them safe._

I got on and giving him one last look he said with a simple nod

 _Be careful_

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer I don't own VA.**

 **Enjoy:)**

Twelve hours.

That's what it's going to take to get to Omsk.

Last time I had this same feeling of hopelessness and anxiety was after the attack on the academy.

I wanted to know where Everyone was.

On the way to the airport

My phone rang as I speeded away from Court.

"Hathaway," I answered.

"Roza, he came back and found me in grandma's room. I just got away. He has a belt!" He said.

Pushing all my old memories away, I kept my cool.

"Stand up to him. You are stronger.

You have the skill. " I told Paul.

" I can't, Roza, I'm scared." He said with a small whimper.

"Paul... Paul, you have to stay calm. I know it's hard, but I know you can do this. You're strong."

"For now, you have to stay calm and keep dodging him. What I want to know is, where is everyone?" If I keep him talking, it might help us to survive this.

"I don't know; it's just grandma and me." He said in a frantic voice

"Okay, I need you to tell me where is your mom?" I said. I was trying to be as calm as possible.

"She left with her boyfriend. They're not going to come back for another week." He said he was a bit calmer.

"Where is Viktoria?" I asked, could it be that

"She is at the academy; she won't come back until the next break." He is calming down.

" Where is Sonya?" I asked. Was he watching them?

"She's been at the hospital with the baby." He said with a little hint of a smile. Sonya had the baby? Wow!

"Where's Yeva?" At least she should be at the house. Right?

She's with Aunt Sonya and my sister Zoya at the hospital." He said with the abbot of dismay. I guess not.

"Why are you home?"

"Because I had an early vacation."

Minutes went by, and I kept talking, calming him down further the only reminder of what was happening was the occasional abruptly crashing of glass.

On the plane

Then it's true he was keeping track of them so that he could attack seeing as Dimitri only stood up to him when he was thirteen. I guess he thought that if Paul is 10 yrs old that he won't do anything.

What he is not expecting is me to get there in just a few more hours.

I just hope that Paul will be okay by then.

12 hours and the security checking later

Finally, I was on the road.

Ten minutes into the road, I get a call.

"Hathaway."

"Speed, if you want to get there on time, you have to speed up. Don't worry about the tickets or cops stopping you." Every day, Abe keeps surprising me.

"Alright." is all I say.

I stepped on the gas pedal.

Half a minute later, I get another call.

It's Paul.

"Paul, I'm already driving to your house. I'll be there in 5 minutes. I need you to make a run for it." I urged him.

"I can't. I can't leave my grandma here. He came back." He broke into a sob.

Flashback

"Why didn't you run outside?" He was furious. He's scary.

"I couldn't leave her, Dimi. I just couldn't." I started to cry. His arms wrapped around, telling me that it was going to be okay.

Present

"Paul, I need you to run outside. I'm almost there." I heard him get up the sobbing stopped, and I heard him run opening and closing the door.

Relief filled me. I had never felt such relief of a door opening except when I told Mason to run.

NO! Paul is safe! Paul is safe! I kept repeating it; until I saw him running towards my car. I stopped the car and went towards him.

When he saw me, he ran towards me with full force. His hug was so fierce as if I was the only one that could save him. Well, at that moment, I was.

"It's okay I'm here, and I'm going to make him pay for this." I pulled away, but he wouldn't let go.

"Don't please Roza. Don't leave me!" He pleaded. It reminded me so much of Dimitri's vulnerability.

I took him to the car and drove a few blocks away from the house. I turned it off, leaving the keys in the ignition.

"Stay in the car. Here's my phone you see this number you're going to call it and say that I need the backup ticket, and you send this folder here.

Wait an hour before calling. Okay?"

I looked at him, and just like his uncle, Paul went guardian mode. He gave me a nod of agreement.

When I stepped inside the house, I saw a mess of shattered glass.

Rage. That was all I could feel. Knowing exactly where the bastard was, I went inside Olena's bedroom.

What I saw was enough to make me feel the spirit's side effects.

I stopped thinking.

I grabbed him from his shirt away from Olena and threw him down the stairs. I grabbed him and started beating him up senselessly.

HE HAD TO PAY!

HE HAD TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE HE CAUSED TO THIS FAMILY!

FOR WHAT HE DID TO ME!

Hit after hit landed on him.

I heard voices in my head. Voices that sounded familiar, but I tried to ignore them. Every time I saw him, I would feel the belt slamming against my tiny body. Every time that he breathes, I can hear all the times that Nina used to beg him to stop. It only made me beat him more.

Rose stop. Please, this isn't you!

Roza, you're strong; you're so strong. It's why I love you.

I didn't know if I was deluding myself or Lissa's voice through the bond my reasoning finally caught up with my actions.

When I stopped, I was breathing hard. I pulled Randle up towards, and I threatened him with an inch of his life.

"I want to get this through your miserable head. I don't want you to come back to this house to this family, and to this community, understand?"

"Yes." He croaked out.

I dragged him outside just as two guardians were coming towards me. I shoved him towards them and glared at them along with a warning.

"I don't want to see him here. He's forbidden to ever come here again, and if I do..." I took a breath.

"You do know to threaten a royal is considered treason. Right?" The first guardian spoke a bit timid.

"It doesn't matter." I answered

"yes, but he's an Ivashkov," said the second guardian.

" How close to the Queen are we talking?" I asked, intrigued by this new detail.

The guardians shared a look before answering me

"Well. He's the brother of Nathan Ivashkov."

Speechless, I nodded goodbye.

My anger had simmered.

From a distance, I heard footsteps coming closer to me.

"Roza!" Paul called out to me.

My phone was on my hand, and somehow I was able to answer it blindly, not knowing who it was.

"What the hell do you want?" I said in a bitter voice, but I didn't care.

"Where are you, Rose?" Her voice was gentle, trying not to set me off.

"Turkey," I said, trying to swallow the darkness, but it was impossible.

"What are you doing there?" She asked carefully

I wanted to tell her to stop talking to me as if I were stupid.

"taking over the company for Abe," I said.

"Can you tell me who is with you?" She asked me.

I kept swallowing cursing words along with a bit of darkness each time.

It wasn't enough to overcome it, but it helped me to have a more fluid talk.

"No one, I'm in my office."

I guess she noticed the change in my voice because she asked me a more direct question.

"Where in Turkey?" She asked.

"I'm not exactly sure. All I know is that Abe got me a plane ticket to fly all the way here, and I didn't question." I wasn't exactly free from the madness, but I wasn't entirely controlled by it.

It was enough to push everything back. Locke it and wait for another moment to break down.

I needed to take care of Paul. I had to help Olena.

We started walking to the car.

"Lissa, who's with you?" I asked. I am trying to keep my thoughts on the present and not back at the house.

"Pavel, Christian, and Adrian." Not wanting to talk more, I hung up.

Once inside the car, I turned it on and drove further down the road.

I scrolled down my contacts and got his number. I called.

"Rose?" Dimitri answered.

"Good, you answered. Listen, I'm taking Paul to the nearest daycare, and I need you to give him a good excuse for having so many bruises. Tell him why he has been dropped off and not be able to stay at home." I told him.

"How's Paul?" Dimitri asked.

"He's alright bruised up, but he's safe. I still have to go help Olena." I said as I glanced at the boy.

"Paul, where's the nearest daycare?" I asked him.

"Just a few more blocks, I'll tell you when?" He said he was a bit wary of me. I don't blame him.

I put the speaker on and handed the phone to Paul.

Immediately they began speaking rapid Russian. It was soothing, and that's how the last bit of the madness faded away.

I focused on my breathing and the road. It was as if I was back at the academy back in that moment of weakness, and Dimitri was there to calm me down.

No!

He's not here, and it's time for me to be the guardian.

"Stop! It's here." He said.

"What's the excuse?" I asked

"I got in a fight for the bruises, and I can't stay at the house alone." He said

"Okay, I'll come to pick you up after I clean the house."

"'Kay. I'm glad you're back. I missed you." He said, sounding now more tired.

"I missed you too. Behave. Okay?"

"Yeah. I love you, Roza."

"I love you too, Paul." He gave me my phone and walked into the building.

Now that all that anger and rage faded

I was relieved that I broke away. Whether it was the convo that Paul and Dimitri were having or my delirium of old memories, but I was free!

I had the biggest smile on my face. It felt like a long time since I was able to do that.

"Rose." Dimitri's voice caught me off guard.

"What? Sorry, I thought you hung up," I said, embarrassed.

"Thank you." He said though it sounded as if he was smiling, which made me smile even more.

"I'm just keeping my promise," I said.

"Listen, I have to make a few phone calls. I'll make sure your mom gets some rest." I told him.

"Alright." He said, still with a bit of amusement in his voice.

"Bye, Dimi," I said.

"Bye Roza"

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA**

 **Enjoy:)**

As I was driving downtown, I was making phone calls ordering a new couch, bed, bedsheets, clothing, and a sturdier door too. All I had to do now was swipe the card and pick up.

Once I got to the house, I got to work. I went through the house, replacing everything. Once the living room was ready and cleaned up, I went upstairs into Olena's room.

She laid there with bloodstains all over her, and on the bed. The bedroom was a total disaster.

I gently got her naked bruised bloody body and took her to the bathtub, having already prepared warm water to bathe her.

"Roza? It's. you came back?" Her voice was barely audible.

"I'm here, Nina," I said gently, trying to fight back the tears.

It was awful to see her like this, such a strong woman who raised her children with only her mother's advice.

That's when the cruel reality dawns on me.

Was this the way? The way that Dimitri had seen me?

No wonder he felt so much guilt!

To see someone at this level knowing damn well that they're better than this.

I understand why he worked so hard to push me away, but it still doesn't matter to me, because I love him. After all, I love Nina.

After I finished bathing her, I filled the tub again with warm water, letting her relax while I cleaned her room.

I grabbed black bags and started dumping the mattress, the blankets, the clothes, and everything that was ruined by him.

I wanted to fall there and just cry. I wanted to have Dimitri come and hug me, but I wasn't that little girl anymore. I'm more durable, and if I was able to handle Mason's death, then I can deal with this.

I also took down the door.

After a new bed, new bedsheets, new clothes, a much sturdier door, among other things.

Finally, the room looked spotless as if nothing happened. It seemed with no evidence of that monster.

I went back to the bathroom and drained the water, got her out, and dressed her in the new clothes I got her.

I sat her on the bed, leaning against me as I dried and combed her hair. Once she was lying on the bed, I attended her wounds on her neck.

Again I needed to cry, but I kept pushing back.

During all this time, Olena would look at me as if trying to recognize me. That tired look of hers reminded me so much of my own.

As I finished, I kissed her forehead and got the four trash bags, and took them outside the house. I just hope that the men I called would get here faster.

As I was coming in, I heard my phone ring.

I answered, putting on the speaker.

"Hello?"

"Rose. How's Paul? How's my mom? Where's-" Dimitri's voice came in a rushing.

"Hey! Breathe. Paul is still at the daycare; your mom is resting the endorphins will be wearing off soon, so I'm making her something to eat."

Taking off the speaker, I went to open the door.

"Rose Hathaway?" He asked, and I nodded

Signaling the trash bags, which in total were, I don't know there a lot.

I swiped the credit card, not bothering to look at the cost—another gift from Abe.

"What was that about?" He asked. Jealousy?

Nope! I have to stop thinking about this.

I was placing the phone call once more in the speaker. I finished making the sandwich and cleaning up.

"I called someone to come and pick up the trash I left outside the house," I said, tired.

I grabbed the brand new glass poured water and a dissolving painkiller.

"Rose," he said in a warning telling me that I was too vague. Dam out of all things that 'faded' couldn't this ability of his be faded.

Retaking the speaker off, I went upstairs to Olena's room. As I go inside, I see that she has been gaining consciousness, and I saw the shock in her eyes when she saw me.

I placed the food on the nightstand.

"Roza? What? Why are you here?" She asked, perplexed by my presence.

"It's okay, get some rest, we'll talk later," I said gently. Letting Olena sleep.

I sighed.

"What am I doing? I'm cleaning the mess that the moroi tend to leave. That's what I'm doing. I'm just finishing the kitchen, so it looks like a regular day."

"Rose, you didn't have to do that, but thank you."

I was shocked to hear him thank me so many times.

"Listen, I only wanted to know if they're okay," he said in a soft tone.

"A better way to know is if you would call or come here, you know I could easily lie to you," I said, wishing that I could change his mind.

"No! I can't." He sounded frantic.

"Then you should stop wondering how they are, what they are doing. No news. Nothing" I said

"Rose-"

"No! You don't want to tell them that you are alive, then I won't make them suffer more knowing that you are dead is bad enough," I said, trying again to lower my voice.

"Rose. You can't do that; it's going to kill them."

"They already see you as the dead don't forget that!"

"Rose, please."

"Listen for all I know they still think that I'm running around chasing a fairytale with no results. It's a dead hope."

"Look, if you want to push me away, go for it, but your family doesn't deserve the same treatment. I saw them a few months ago, and when I told what had happened, they begged me to tell them that it was a sick joke." I had to stop, or I was going to start crying, and I wasn't ready for that.

After I calmed down a bit, I kept talking.

"I won't be the one to tell them this time. It has to be you. You tell your family that you are alive," I stood firm in my decision.

"Rose, please don't." He begged.

I don't know what shocked me more, the fact that he was willing to beg and show me his vulnerability or what he was saying.

"To you? or to your family?" I was getting angry with him, but I took a big breath, trying to calm down.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to see in the eyes of someone and see that spark of life gone within seconds?" I asked

Remembering Andre, Lissa, her parents, Christian, Mason, this family it's too much!

There was silence.

"You know what I love about your family?"

"What?" He asked with trembling in his voice.

"You don't have to be second-guessing if they're going to be alive. You don't have to be afraid that one day you'll wake up to the fact that your mom or your sisters were taken down by strigoi." My voice was breaking.

"Ros-"

"Shut up and listen! You don't have to wonder what it would be like to have an ideal family or what's it like to have your mother's constant love right in front of you. You'll never have to wonder when they will call you to let you know that one of them died. You'll never know the fear of waking up one with a dead mother who died in battle or worse."

The silence was all I heard.

I've never told anyone what it was like to have a mother as a guardian after I got over the resentment that I had for her. It's a deep fear that we all have.

I grabbed my wallet and my car keys.

I headed out to pick up Paul.

Everything was back to normal. There was no trace of that monster, which was good.

We didn't speak; we were both too deep in thought.

Well, he was. I was trying hard to push everything back. I couldn't let Paul see me like this.

Right now, he needs a sharp image.

When I got to the daycare, it was easy for me to pick him up.

Once inside the car, he asked. "How's grandma?"

"Resting."

"About your uncle being alive and what happened in the house, you can't tell anyone," I said

"But why? You did the right thing. You got him to stop!" He said.

"About your uncle, no one will easily believe that for some miracle he's alive. And as for what happened well, that depends on your grandmother. If she wants to tell everyone what happened, then she will, if not, then we don't say a thing." He just sat there quietly, trying to understand what I was saying.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, trying to regain a lighter atmosphere.

"tired, but I am hungry."

"You'll go shower, and I'll make dinner for you."

I answered as gently as possible.

He gave a small smile.

When I opened the door, I was shocked to see what was happening.

"Paul, go do what I told you." He ran.

I was having a very vivid memory of how Dimitri had found me in a similar situation back at the academy.

Unlike him, I didn't need words to get my point across.

Within seconds he was gone, and she sat there trying to cover up the fear.

"What the hell is your problem?" She screamed at me.

I was about to start giving her a similar speech that Dimitri gave me, but instead, I said.

"Shut up and go to your room and get changed. Dinner is going to be in ten minutes." I told her

"You're not my mom or my brother. You're not even my sister to be telling me what to do!" She screamed at me. It stung, but it was true.

"Fine, then you don't get to have dinner, and you'll have to tell your mom what happened," I said.

She got even madder.

"Ugh! You are such a pain! We were better before we ever met you! Cause every time you come, you bring disaster with you!" She said as she slammed the door.

I just hoped that Olena wouldn't be too hard on her.

 **Phew! That was pretty intense and a bit depressing, but I'm finished with this chapter.**

 **Review, thank you once again. :))**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own the VA series Enjoy :)**

 **A/N**

 _ **For an unknown guest**_

 _ **My grammar, yes, it sucks, and I do try my best to correct it as much as possible. I do everything on my phone and don't own a laptop sooo... yeah, thanks though I'll keep working on it.**_

 _ **I know Rose never called Dimitri Dimi, but she mentioned it once in**_

 _ **Frostbite chapter 5 towards the end**_

 _ **I swelled under his praise. "Why does she call you Dimka?"**_

 _ **He laughed softly. I'd heard a lot of his laughter tonight and decided I'd like to hear more of it.**_

 _ **"It's a nickname for Dimitri."**_

 _ **"That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't sound anything like Dimitri. You should be called; I don't know, Dimi or something."**_

 _ **"That's not how it works in Russian," he said.**_

 _ **And from here I got the idea. This is a fiction site, so anything can happen to characters that we love, and we can give them a different background.**_

 _ **For everyone else, I know my grammar sucks so patience.**_

 _ **And I seriously need to know if I have to post a disclaimer on every chapter or just at the very beginning?**_

Precisely 10 minutes later.

By the time I finished cooking.

I made Mac and Cheese.

We sat down to eat. Paul was ecstatic about having food in his system. He looked more like his uncle; he was content to be eating something simple. The sudden nostalgia hit me strong, and when he looked up at me, I had to look away.

A few minutes after we began eating, Viktoria broke the silence.

"Would you just stop!" She screamed at me, startling Paul.

Well, at least now I know for sure that he is not a replica of Dimitri.

I raised an eyebrow, which thankfully now I can do after insisting him to teach me. Memories flooded into my head, and as soon they came, I locked them up.

"Stop what?" I asked.

So far, I wasn't rude to her. I haven't lectured her, and it wasn't my place to say anything, not with Olena in her state or Dimitri's absence in the house.

So I was confused by her outburst.

"Pretending like nothing is wrong. As if I haven't noticed that there's a new couch or brand-new sets of cups and plates or the fact that Paul is all bruised up. You haven't said anything about what you saw. Even the fact that you made dinner," She said it as if it was something weird which it was.

"The house was like this when I got here," I said, trying to go with a laid-back attitude.

In truth, I was tired of everything that happened—not limited to mention the lack of sleep or the different time zones. I looked down at my hands, and they were getting swollen by the hour. There was still dry blood on them—Randle's blood. Last time I saw my knuckles like this was after a few days of training, and Dimitri had taken care of it.

I shook my head, trying to block him out.

"You want me to lecture to you?" I asked, knowing very well that it wasn't what she was asking.

She glared at me.

I rolled my eyes at her.

I was keeping my tone light.

"Your mother asked me to come and watch over Paul, seeing that Sonya is at the hospital with Yeva and Zoya. Karo is with her boyfriend and won't be back until another week, and your mom is in her room resting. She has a migraine." I said.

"And you were supposed to be back at the academy until the next week, which now I see that it was a lie." I stopped myself.

I was getting mad at her. She could've been here to protect her nephew, but instead, she was off wondering with her friends!

No! I said that it was going to be Olena's choice. Not mine.

"So, what now? Are you going to ground me?" She asked, taunting me.

"Just an observation," I said, keeping my cool.

"That's not my place." It was the most truthful I've been with her.

"Humph. At least you understand that much." She smiled at me,

Taunting me, daring me to break.

" you know, for someone that used to wake us up with your nightmares, you've moved on quickly."

It was a slap in the face.

"Gossip spreads," she said.

Damn it! I'm going to lose it if she keeps going.

I haven't had the chance to process what happened today, and she's accusing me of who knows what.

"Who said I was moving at all." It was all I could manage to say without breaking my control.

Paul's eyes, which had been following the argument, finally switched his attention when the front door opened. All the missing members of the family came in, creating a big commotion around the newborn.

Paul and Viktoria left their food to meet the new member of the family. I took advantage of this time to check up on Olena.

I came into her room, and she was sitting up, finishing her sandwich. She met my eyes with understanding.

I went to sit down with her.

"I want to let you know that it's all up to you," I said gently.

"Everyone is back home, and Paul is alright." I gave her a gentle smile, and she only nodded.

"Thank you. Thank you for saving my boys and me." She said with tears in her eyes. She hugged me.

I was in shock. Olena knew that Dimitri was alive, and yet she didn't ask how. Duh! I was screaming too loud. Even though I didn't mention his name, she just knew it was about him.

Pulling back, I said, "It's his choice if he wants to tell the family," she only nodded.

We went downstairs together.

Everyone was reunited, and I've never felt more of an outsider than right now.

Quietly I began taking pictures of them. When they noticed me, they simply nodded at me.

My phone began to ring. I moved more into the kitchen. It was already dark.

"Hey," I answered with a smile on my face.

I was just noticing that Dimitri had hung up a long time ago. Huh.

"Where the hell are you"? , he asked.

Adrian's voice sounded slurred.

I kept in sight of the family to help me stay calm.

"In Turkey," I said. No more smiles, but I remained calm.

"I got that, but I want to know why? As far as I'm concerned, you have nothing to do there". It seemed he was more than drunk, and his tone wasn't helping.

If someone was looking at me closely, they could see how little by little my face was changing from a gentle smile to a frustration look.

I turned away from the family, trying not to spoil their moment.

"First off, don't talk to me like that. Second, where are you?" I was a bit worried.

I turned back, and I saw that some of them were staring at me. I grabbed my car keys and my wallet and left the house. I was most definitely not going to spoil their reunion.

Though someone called after me, I wasn't paying attention.

"Oh now you want to know after you left me behind," He asked in a very obnoxious way

"Adrian, I just told you I'm in Turkey taking care of the company for Abe."

Silence

"What's gotten into you? I'm not with him! How many times do I have to repeat it? I'm with you, and just for a few days, I'm going to be at my dad's company. I owe him, and I'm not talking about a few months ago. I'm talking about years ago, before you and I crossed paths." It's tough to keep calm.

"Okay, you're even. Now get back here". Adrian's slurred speech was now getting more noticed.

"Rose...I..." A few seconds later, I was able to hear him running and throwing up.

"Look, I'm going to get Christian to come to help you," I said.

I quickly hung up and dialed Christian's cell phone

"Well, speak of the devil. Well, more of its spawn." Christian answered.

" I need you to go check on Adrian," I said, ignoring his greeting.

"Whoa, and what makes you think I know where he is?"

"You would know because you want him away from Lissa."

"Fair enough. Okay, I'll check up on Adrian. Anything else?" he asked.

I thought about it, but then I got the gut feeling when strigoi were near.

"Rose?"

"No nothing, just call me back when he gets better, gotta go bye."

I hung up and left the house, heading to my car. I opened the driver door and reached under my seat, and I grabbed a duffle. Inside it had different types of stakes for me to place in various places of my body. One on each of my forearms, shoes, thighs, on each side of my waist, two on my back, and finally the stake that Dimitri sent me.

I slammed the door. I vaguely remember someone telling me to stop questioning where I was going, but I was too shocked that I couldn't respond.

I ran away. I ran towards the main roads. I felt someone running behind me. I ran faster, leaving them far behind.

There were rumors that this path was the only dangerous place filled with strigoi. I went in.

Once I got there, I roamed through the forest, trying to get their attention. Soon enough, I felt that wave of nausea in the pit of my stomach. I found myself surrounded by strigoi.

A car from far away came close enough to hear it but far enough to not see it.

Within the group, I saw one that held particular anger towards me.

Someone was coming.

Recognition hit me; it was Marlen. The strigoi that I tortured to find Dimitri. I remembered what he last spoke to me. "Rose Hathaway, I remember your name just like you told me," Then his threat came loud and clear when I first saw him. "I'll remember it so that I can kill you." I sent a message of my own

Take your best shot sending him also a smug look at him, which only angered him more.

Behind this group, I saw one with unforgettable blond hair.

I had back up.

My face hardened with hate.

He was going to pay!

He owes me a life!

We attacked.

NATHAN HAS TO DIE

 **Review:)**

 **Your reviews always encourage me to keep writing**

 **It had me bawling as i wrote this.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA or the song.**

 **Enjoy:)**

"What were you thinking?!" Karo asked.

"Ow!" I yelped after she pulled the thread a little too sharp. She glared at me.

"She was the one provoking them. I only got there as a backup." Said Viktoria, who is now holding an ice pack behind her head.

"I never told you to follow me and make sure that's the last time you get my car without my permission," I warned her, but my voice was still calm.

Karo was stitching the right side of my waist. I had a t-shirt wrapped around my left upper arm. I never really put in much thought of how sharp their nails get.

"Sure once you stop throwing yourself in the hands of the strigoi after every argument." I ignored the jab. I was too tired to even argue with her.

"You should have never gone after her, and not mention that you joined the fight," Oksana said, as she came into the living room.

Yeva had called her to come right after I left the house. Mark had decided to stay behind, seeing that there wasn't going to be any trouble.

No. No more trouble.

No more nightmares.

It's all over.

He's dead.

I was on the couch with Oksana, who was cleaning the blood from my arm with alcohol, and Karo, who was finishing the stitches on my waist. Along with the two gashes, I had multiple scratches, bruises, and bleeding wounds.

Viktoria, on the other hand, was sitting on a one-person couch with the ice pack. She had a concussion.

How I made it out alive is still something that surprised me. I couldn't get out alive, but I made it out. I hope I never have to do that again.

"She wasn't stable," Viktoria whined. She was wincing at her head movement.

"More reason for you to stay away from her," Oksana said. She began stitching my upper arm.

I avoided her knowing gaze that was piercing through me, telling me that she knew what I was trying to do, but it was stupid. Of course, she knew what it was like to feel the darkness.

Once more, I felt the fatigue and slept slowly seeping through me. I closed my eyes and began to lull myself to sleep.

"Something strange happened. The strigoi that was behind the group wanted to rip you apart..." I faintly heard her telling what had happened.

I kept my eyes closed, trying to forget about it, but I could still see them.

Marlen was there leaning on a tree, silently watching me fight and stake his pawns. So, far I was able to keep them away from Viktoria, not giving her a chance to engage in the fight. I knew that if she ever began staking, it would put her at risk. Dimitri's zen lessons came back at me.

Telling me to make sure she was out of danger so I could have full concentration on the fight. With a moroi, you ask them to run, and they do, but to a dhampir, yeah, they'll put up an argument. So I improvised knowing that she will give me hell for it, but at least she will be alive.

Soon enough, I found an opening and knocked her out cold.

I placed my full attention on the fight at hand.

At least 15 pawns.

Adrenaline rushing through my body, I had strength enough to finish him and Nathan.

With Marlen, it was just a score to settle nothing to waste my time on.

"You're going to pay!" He snarled at me.

"It's not my fault that you weren't strong enough," I said just as I staked him throughout the heart.

He was just a pawn for Nathan, and he didn't realize it. As I get up, I see Nathan getting near to me. Fear rushes to me for a second, and then it vanishes. I'm not the same as the last saw me.

I'm not under the endorphins, and I'm sane controlled and more reliable than ever.

"You do realize that if you lose, Belikov won't be here to save you. I'm going to make sure you beg for mercy! You made a disgrace out of me!..." I ignored him and his blabbering, reminding me too much of Isaiah.

I looked at him and saw all the things he had done. He attacked the only place I could call home. He threatened Lissa. He turned Dimitri into a monster. He made us suffer going through hell. He threatened my life.

I let the darkness take over completely. I have seen how some strigoi fear each other, but when Natha saw me, I saw it in his eyes. It was hard to fight him off the first time. Now I had a purpose. I had the thing that drove me to keep going no matter the state of my injuries.

All the anger I was holding up was finally released.

He saw that. I could tell. His face went from menacing to pure fear. I made sure he knew that it was time to pay. After a few struggles, I got him pinned on the ground.

I stabbed his left eye. He yelled; Just as I heard many of the guardians screaming for their lives.

"That was for attacking my home," I said, my voice wasn't recognizable to my ears.

I stabbed his neck

"That was for threatening Lissa. No one will hurt her as long as I'm alive."

He screamed. Just as I did when I knew there was no hope in saving Dimitri.

I stabbed his chest close to his heart.

It was unbearable for him just as it was for me when I knew Dimitri wasn't coming back just as I did when he said those four words.

I stabbed him a few inches closer to his heart.

"This is for ruining the little I have as my own life."

He was twitching and twisting, trying to getaway.

I pulled my stakeout and slammed it through his heart.

"And this is for Dimitri"

He was gasping for the last of breath; Just as I did when I had staked him on the bridge.

I stabbed him over and over again until my mental pain was gone.

I grabbed my stake and placed it in my belt. I turned to see Viktoria still unconscious. I had enough adrenaline to carry both of us to the car.

Once I got all my stakes back into the duffle, I drove us back home.

Home.

"Hello." A familiar voice answered.

"Hey, I need alchemist assistance," I said my voice was much calmer than before.

Her only response was a grumble.

I grabbed my phone, keys, and wallet and dragged Viktoria and myself to the living room. Soon enough, Viktoria was surrounded by her family again; I felt like an outsider when I saw their affection for one another.

I slipped into the bathroom. I took everything off and got into the shower. I was washing off the dirt, blood, and memories. I grabbed my shirt, washing it enough to wrap it around my arm to stop the bleeding. I sat under the warm water, mixed with my tears.

Out in the field, I let go of my anger and the darkness, and _nowhere_ I was letting go of my tears and sadness. The door opened and closed. I peeked at the other side of the curtain and saw clothes.

Roza

Dimi?

Rose.

Rose!

Someone was calling me, but I'm too tired.

"Rosemarie!" I heard my full name screamed.

My eyes snapped open. In front of me, I saw Viktoria waving her hands wildly.

"Hey! Stop that!" I said my voice was hoarse.

"You passed out on us." I looked at her sarcastically, which she ignored.

"I was asking you why did you knock me out?" She said, squinting at me.

I stayed silent.

"Rose." She said in a warning voice.

I sighed. "What is it to you? I did the fighting; I was the one with soaking blood, I'm the one with fresh new scars. I'm the one who just gained new guilt and nightmares. I'm the one with blood in my hands. You are just an annoying ungrateful brat that only has a concussion, and what more do you want?" I asked, annoyed at the accusation.

I never really knew how much it had bothered me her rejection and coldness towards me until that moment. I've never really told anyone what it was to kill strigoi aside from Dimitri until now. They stared at me, shocked. Karo gave me an understanding look.

"Stop deciding what is best for me! You don't know me! You don't know anything!" She raised her voice.

I leveled my voice calm and controlled like I've seen Dimitri do every time he argued with me.

Handy tip.

It also got me angrier.

"You don't know anything. You're here complaining that you only got a bump in the head. Have you ever staked a strigoi? Do you know what it's like to feel his heartbeat stop? Do you know what it's like to see almost at the end the last bit of life they had left? Do you know how to deal with the guilt? Or better yet tell me. Do you know what to do once you see someone who was your friend or family as a strigoi? Are you strong enough to kill them?" I asked her, staring straight at her.

I was sitting on the couch covered in different types of bandages. Viktoria was standing in front of me, Karo at her right and Oksana at her left.

The silence was my answer to all the questions.

"No. You don't know, and I hope you never get to know, but it's unavoidable." I whispered.

"And what we-" she was interrupted

"Enough! Both of you!"

Viktoria closed her mouth. I flinched a bit, startled at her scary motherly voice. It was scary.

"Viktoria, just be thankful that you are alive and drop it!" She said. Oksana turned to me, and for a moment, she was wordless. I wasn't sure what she was looking at, but whatever it was, it gave her goosebumps.

"I don't know if to heal you or let you feel the pain."

She stared at me. Each willing the other to give in.

Finally, I got up. I cleaned up my surroundings and changed into a clean t-shirt. It was familiar to me.

"I couldn't kill her. I tried reasoning with her. She threw me around like a rag doll. It was until your brother came without hesitation despite knowing her. He killed her." My voice was in control, but I saw it all over again. It's worth the magic and the sun. She said that.

I got my things and stopped at the bottom of the stairs. The shirt had a scent that I would know anywhere.

"Pain. It reminds me that I'm still alive." It was the last thing I said and went to the room that I used last time I was here.

Once, again here I am in this same bed.

I am crying over the same man.

His scent covered me. It's easy to pretend that I'm in his arms, and with a stupid song stuck in my head. Sadly it is quite fitting for this occasion.

 _ **Even if you were a million miles away**_

 _ **I can still feel you in my bed**_

 _ **Near me, touch me, feel me**_

 _ **And even at the bottom of the sea**_

 _ **I could still hear inside my head**_

 _ **Telling me, touch me, feel me**_

 _ **And all the time, you were telling me lies**_

He did lie. He lied to me when he said those four words, but it doesn't take away the hurt.

 _ **So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

 _ **Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

 _ **I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had**_

 _ **Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

 _ **Have you ever try sleeping with a broken heart?**_

 _ **Well you could try sleeping in my bed**_

 _ **Lonely, own me, nobody ever shut it down like you**_

Love Fades

 _ **You wore the crown, you made my body feel heaven bound**_

 _ **Why don't you hold me, need me**_

 _ **I thought you told me, you'd never leave me**_

Mine Has

 _ **Looking in the sky I could see your face**_

 _ **Then I knew right where I fit in**_

 _ **Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love with you**_

 _ **Right till the end**_

 _ **So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

 _ **Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

 _ **I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had**_

 _ **Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

I closed my eyes. I was holding onto every moment we had.

 _ **Anybody could've told you right from the start it's 'bout to fall apart**_

 _ **So rather than hold on to a broken dream I'll just hold on to love**_

 _ **And I could find a way to make it, don't hold on too tight**_

 _ **I'll make it without you tonight**_

Finally, I'm free from all of the hunting memories. I'm free from all the trauma. I'm no longer a shadow.

 _ **So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

 _ **Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

 _ **I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had**_

 _ **Tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you**_

"Does it get easier?"

"Yes. But you'll never be the same."

 **It had me bawling as I wrote this.**

 **Please review. Your reviews always encourage me to keep writing.**

 **Alicia Keys: Try sleeping with a broken heart.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA or the song**

 **Enjoy:)**

I woke up with a sense of déjà vu. For a moment, as I was waking up, I wondered if everything that happened was a nightmare.

Me getting captured by Dimitri as a strigoi, me being under the influence of the endorphins, me staking Dimitri, Lissa getting caught by him, him getting turned back to a dhampir, his rejection, Paul needing my help. I wasn't sure if it was all an awful dream; it seems as if it was. I could pretend that Sydney was downstairs waiting for me.

When I began to sit up, pain rushed through my body, and so did all the memories. I sat there, trying to understand, trying to find out what was going on.

It seems sitting on this bed wasn't going to help do that. Rummaging through my duffle bag, I got a new change of clothes.

After I changed, I went into the bathroom to wash my teeth and face.

I stood in front of the mirror. I looked at myself. I saw my eyes were bloodshot with bags underneath. I saw how my face was a collection of never-ending bruises with five angry red lines going from my forehead down to my chin.

I looked down at my neck and shoulders. A few purple and blue spots were forming. On my right forearm, you could see the bandage that Oksana wrapped around it with a small hint of blood.

My other arm had a few scratches that were fading. If I were to take off my shirt, I would see the stitches that Karo gave me on my left side. I could still feel the way how one of the strigoi clawed at me.

My whole body had small and big purple yellow and blue spots with a combination of claw marks and gashes.

I made another quick survey on my appearance to make sure I was okay. I had placed my hair into a high ponytail, a short sleeve v-neck, and black jeans.

I gathered my things and went back to the room. I grabbed my phone and called Adrian.

"'Ello?" He answered.

"Adrian. How are you feeling?" I asked him in a low voice for both our sakes.

"Little dhampir? My head is killing me," he whined.

I was conflicted. Not knowing if I should make him suffer or baby him. I settled for both.

"You poor thing! You got yourself drunk, and now you have a hangover, my poor baby!" I shouted.

"Rose!" he hissed.

" Alright, I'll tell Christian to take you some painkillers," I said in a much lighter tone. Speaking of painkillers, I think I'm overdue for some myself. My body was beginning to throb.

"Hang on. How did you know I was drunk?" Adrian asked in bewilderment.

"You called me. While I was in a meeting with the board, I had to reschedule it for next week." I told him lightly. Not everything was a lie. Abe had asked me to help him with the company. I've had a few phone meetings on my way here. I'm just waiting for my online classes to begin, and I need to get a laptop.

"Alright, I let you go then. Bye," he replied sleepily.

"Bye, Adrian rest. I'll call you later." I hung up. I quickly sent a text message to Christian and headed downstairs.

As I was closing the door, I heard a high pitch screech. One that told you that there was danger. I flew down the stairs, ready for the attack only to be stopped by crying and laughter mixed and a very familiar voice.

I stood there at the entrance of the living room, not understanding what was happening. I saw Viktoria wrapped up in his arms. I saw the family looking at the same picture as me but with a more relaxed stance. I was tense ready for the attack, skeptical that there was no danger.

It was as if I was watching a movie where the long lost relative was finally home after everyone had given up. I was breathing hard, and I couldn't understand why none was on alert.

FINALLY! My brain began to function. I once more looked at the picture and saw Yeva, Olena, Karo, Sonya, Viktoria, and the kids surrounding Dimitri in a group hug.

A lump in my throat began to form, and all my emotions threatened to drown me, so I started to back away. How could I still feel like this after letting everything go?

I wasn't watching where I was going.

Sonya looked up at me with a smile. "Roza! Come over."

I felt relieved

I was backing up.

I felt proud that he finally came back to his family.

I felt jealousy

I felt like an outsider

I felt anger

I felt lonely

I bumped with the bottom of the stairs, which was enough to make me stumble and fall on my ass on the first step.

I felt overwhelmed.

I wanted my mom; I wanted my dad;

I wanted to feel what this family feels.

Tears began to build in my eyes, and the lump grew.

Everyone began to come closer, talking to me, and once I saw an opening to the door, I ran.

Of course, Dimitri being who he has caught my wrist before I could even turn the knob.

"Let me go! I don't want to be here!" I screamed, trying to free myself from his grip.

"Not until we make sure you're okay." He said, trying to soothe me. It wasn't madness this time. It was pure fear and sadness.

"NOO! I JUST WANT TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE! LET ME GO!" I screamed.

I was drowning on all of these feelings. I had to get out to rent a room in a hotel and forget everything, but this idiot wasn't taking any of it.

"Give one good reason, and I'll let you go," He said He had wrapped his arms from behind me. I've tried elbowing him, stepping on him, but he wouldn't let me go.

"NO, YOU WON'T! YOU'LL JUST KEEP ASKING MORE QUESTIONS!" I was about to break in front of everyone, and that's what Dimitri noticed.

Turning to the rest of the family, who was staring at me with shocked and worried looks, he said.

"Can you guys give us the room please." Without another word, they left.

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK! I WANT TO LEAVE! I WANT TO... choke... I want..."

That's when I knew I couldn't hold it back tears and sobs came out of my mouth. I was a blubbering mess.

"My... mom... she... promised... I had her ..."

He didn't say anything he didn't have to. I was pretty sure that almost everyone knew.

Dimitri turned me, so I was facing his chest. I gripped his shirt and cried, trying to stop him from the pain in his arms.

"I... knew... and dared... believe her... she said... was coming back..."

"She... said... care for dad..."

"Should've... stopped her..."

I couldn't get rid of the pain I had to take it out.

Viktoria POV

She was at the top of the stairs listening to everything.

She was shocked.

How? Viktoria silently asked.

Yesterday Rose was here sitting down eating dinner with us sure she had a few bruises on her knuckles, but she was fine, and then when I saw her fighting, it was incredible, and when we got to the house, it seemed that she was finally at peace.

So what happened?

Then it dawned on her and burst into her mother's room, and in her arms, she curled up and cried.

 _ **The other night dear, as I lay sleeping**_

 _ **I dreamed I held you in my arms**_

 _ **When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken**_

 _ **And I hung my head and cried**_

 _ **You are my sunshine, my only sunshine**_

 _ **You make me happy when skies are grey**_

 _ **You'll never know dear, how much I love you**_

 _ **Please don't take my sunshine away…**_

 **Okay, I know what you guys are thinking, and honestly, I had another plot, but this got in the wa** y...

 **I know you guys want to kill me for one, not updating after I said that I would.**

 **Let see how many of you guess what happened to Rose's mom.**

 **In case you do, she may or may not pull a Jason Todd.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the son: You are my sunshine.

 **Review:)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA**

 **A/N**

As you have noticed, I've been reposting the same chapters. This is what happened.

I had uploaded a single A/N, which messed me up, so I placed it at the beginning of the next chapter. At the same time, I was going back to the beginning of the story fixing all the grammar mistakes, and I noticed that the story was too dramatic, and it was going too fast. So I changed a few things. I would recommend going back from the start and reread everything while I finish fixing the rest of the story. This means that I won't be uploading any new chapters until I set everything with any further ado. **Enjoy:)**

" _ **Rose..."**_

 _ **The doctors wouldn't look at me. I saw it in their eyes.**_

 _ **No!**_

 _ **Their eyes were filled with regret and Broken voices.**_

 _ **NO!**_

" _**Rose... She..." An icy wave went through my body.**_

" _ **She... didn't make it..."**_

 _ **NO! The hollow that I had was growing.**_

 _ **I looked down, still soaked in blood.**_

 _ **It was my mother's blood.**_

 _ **Her words echoed.**_

" _ **I'm proud of you, Rosy... I love you... I wish we had more time... you've grown so much..."**_

 _ **NOOOOO!**_

" _**Rose..."**_

 _ **I felt her warm blood soaking my clothes. I almost had her whole body on my laps. I was seeing how she was fading. Somehow in all the haze, I stopped the bleeding.**_

 _ **I hugged her to my chest. Closing my eyes, I focused on her heartbeat, and it was fading. Her heart was the only thing that kept me from going on a rampage**_

" _ **Rose…"**_

" _**You promised..." my voice broke**_

" _**You promised... that you were coming back."**_

'" _ **A Hathaway always keeps her promises."**_

 _ **Beep… beep…beep**_

" _**Annie, I love you."**_

 _ **Beep beep …beep…**_

" _ **I love you."**_

 _ **Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...**_

" _**Rose..."**_

 _ **I closed my eyes, sitting there on the ground, just focusing on her fading warmth.**_

 _ **Time passed, and the ambulance came. They were swarming around us, but I didn't notice much. I was blocking everything away. Something about me holding her in my arms in the middle of a room was eerie.**_

 _ **I looked down at my arms, and the body that I was holding became heavier. Freckles appeared across the face, her brown eyes became a faded blue, her fiery hair became a lighter red, and her neck had this twisted limp figure. I just looked at her in shock.**_

 _ **NO!**_

 **I shut my eyes, trying to erase the images.**

" _ **Rose…"**_

 _It's your fault! It was because we cared too much about you!_ **(Mason)**

 _It's your fault because you didn't save us!_ **(Both)**

" _ **Rose…"**_

 _I hate you!_ **(Mom)**

 _You used me!_ **(Mason)**

" _ **Rose!…"**_

 _You are not my daughter; you are a simple bastard! You took everything away from me. I don't want you!_ **( Mom)**

 _You killed me ! Murderer!_ **(Both)**

—

"ROSE!" On instinct, I sat up, throwing a punch at whoever was hovering over me.

Images are still going through my mind making me doubt that it had happened weeks ago.

I opened my eyes, and for a brief moment, I saw Mason and my mom on my laps. I saw their blood soaking my clothes.

" Ow.. dammit! This is the last time I'll ever volunteer to wake you up." cried out a muffled voice.

Focusing on the voice, my terror visions vanished, my breathing became lighter, and my focus came in sharp.

" Karo?" I was surprised.

It was strange waking up to her face. Most of the time, I would wake up in the academy's infirmary, and with doctor Olnesky or even Dimitri hovering over me.

I continued to get a hold of the reality forgetting the horrible echoes from my nightmare.

Then, I remembered Olena!

I placed my feet on the ground, ready to stand up when Karo's firm hand began to hold me down.

"Whoa. Easy there. Where do you think you're going?"

"Olena. Where is she? Is she okay? I need to make sure she's okay."

I said as I finally was able to push her off so that I could stand up.

Big mistake. The dizziness came in, and everything began to spin out of its place.

"Hey, take it easy. Everything is okay. Calm down. Everyone is alright; just take a few deep breaths."

Just as I was listening to her words, I noticed that I was laying on the couch. My jeans somehow became sweatpants, and my shirt became an all too familiar baggy sweatshirt with a very distinctive scent.

Then I realized something.

"What happened to the clothes that I was wearing? Who was the imbecile that changed me?" I asked in a voice that was a good mixture of freaking out and being pissed off.

"Well, you have been having many nightmares, which caused your stitches to reopen, and it was Dimitri who decided that it was best if he was the one to change your clothes."

"Oh, " was all I could say in my embarrassment.

Before I could apologize, the smell like something was more than burnt reached me.

Then, the shouting began.

 **I'm sorry for everything being all over the place. I'm trying to fix it as fast as possible.**

 **Review:)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA**

 **Enjoy:)**

"What did you do?" I heard Olena's voice, and honestly, I'm lucky that I'm not on the receiving end.

Karo and I went to see what was going on. The commotion was coming from the kitchen, and so was the burnt smell.

It was a strange sight for me. So odd that I questioned myself if I was still hallucinating.

"Were you even thinking? We could have all died here!"

"But, we didn't.." Dimitri began to mumble something but then got stopped by his mother.

I'm hallucinating.

Never in a million years would I have ever imagined Dimitri being scolded by his mother.

"What was that?" Nina questioned her only son.

"I'm sorry, mom, but if it weren't for him, I would-" Viktoria began to excuse herself.

"Oh, now it's my fault. Do you have any idea how to even walk in here?" Dimitri interrupted her.

"I had everything under control; you were daydreaming of who knows what!" Viktoria shot back

Nothing like sibling rivalry.

I'm not sure how I am supposed to be feeling right now, aside from a bit of a light head. For an instant, I saw a flash of a faded memory, a little girl with two adults in the same spot that the siblings were standing. I shook it off.

I stared in shock, but also I wanted to laugh my ass off.

To be honest, I didn't know what surprised me more: the fact that the kitchen was a wreck or the fact that Dimitri, the stoic, anti-social Guardian that could stake a strigoi without hesitation is standing in the middle of the mess bickering and out blaming his little sister.

I tried. I did, and I almost succeeded. Here I was at the entrance of the kitchen in a house that I never thought of coming back to, a home in which when I came back was a disaster, because of a bastard, I had just cleaned it up and a day or two later these numbskulls in one minute just blew everything up. I mean, I'm not complaining about the money, but about the hard work I put in this house.

I took a deep breath.

I walked up to those two.

With a blank stare and blocking the dizziness, I opened my mouth and said.

"I don't know if you're caught up to the work that goes into this house, but when I got here a day ago."

"Two," Karo said.

The siblings were looking at me with worry.

"Two days ago, This house was spotless, and you guys just got together and tried to cook who knows what, and somehow you managed to burn half of the kitchen." _Which now is back to where it began._ I mentally added.

I took a big dramatic breath, and I got up to their faces.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! DID YOU TAKE IN CONSIDERATION THAT THERE ARE **BABIES** IN THE HOUSE? OR DID YOU TAKE IN CONSIDERATION THAT WE ARE NOT FIREPROOF?!"

"I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED AND WHO ENDED I WANT THIS HOUSE SPOTLESS! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHOSE FAULT IT IS! I DON'T CARE IF ITS FAIR OR NOT! BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING TO CLEAN IT UP, AND IF YOU DON'T, I'LL MAKE SURE THAT WHATEVER NINA IS GOING TO GIVE YOU AS PUNISHMENT I'LL MAKE IT MUCH WORSE!

" THIS IS EXPECTED FROM KIDS AND AMATEURS!"

" I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS! FOR ONCE I WANT TO BE SELFISH ENOUGH TO BE ALIVE FOR THE ONLY DAY THAT I GET TO BEAT UP THE ONLY ROYAL MOROI WHEN HE GETS HIS ASS TOGETHER TO GET ENGAGE WITH MY BEST FRIEND!"

As they were looking at me, there was fear written in their faces.

"Okay, that's enough, Rose," Karo said, coming closer to where I was standing.

"ENOUGH? I AM BARELY STARTING! YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHPHMMM MFLWMLFW" my mouth was covered from behind me, not fair!

"Okay, Rose, I need you to take a big breath and relax for a moment," Karolina said, pulling me back.

"YUNG WAMPG ME HELLAS?" Everyone looked at me, trying to decipher what I said, and I took the big breath.

"She asked 'you want me to relax?'" Dimitri interpreted.

I stared at him, amazed at how he was able to understand it, and for that instant, I was caught up in his gaze. His eyes held that mixture of amusement and exasperation and even a spec of fear. For the umpth time, I was relieved and glad that his eyes were entirely brown and that his lips were capable of giving a real bright full smile even though it wasn't towards me.

"Now I'm sure that my mom is going to make sure that they clean up. You, on the other hand, have to eat and rest all this standing and shouting will only put more strain on your wound, and you have too many to count." Karo said.

I broke away from the trance that I was in. I couldn't break down. I've already done that too many times for my liking, and I want to avoid it as much as possible.

At the same time, she was taking her hand away from my mouth.

I quickly took note of the situation that I was in.

I was wearing Dimitri's old clothes standing in the kitchen with the complete Belikov family in the middle of a messed up kitchen.

I saw their faces freaked out. I began to shake from holding back my laughter and causing my waist to hurt

I tried to hold it back.

"Jajajajajajajajajajajaja"

"Jajaja your jajajaja facessss jajajajaja."

"I think she finally lost it," Sonya said. No idea when she got here I was too busy laughing.

"Jajajajajajajajajaja oh jajajajaj my jajjajajaja prriiiceeellllleeeeeesssss."

It took me a while to calm myself down, and when I did, I winced my way to the couch with Karo at my side.

"God, that was priceless. Please tell me that someone took a picture."

"Hmm… maybe. I should call Oksana to come to heal you." She said, still with a smile of her own.

"Nah. I'm alright like you said. I just need more rest, but if you want to speed up the healing process, I'll let her heal me once a week, and only the worst of it." I was trying to compromise here.

The last thing I wanted to be is the cause of a meltdown. It was wrong enough with what I've done here the first time I came.

"Rose, this is too much for you to handle, let us help you."

"Look, She already has a balance, and I want to keep it like that. I'm not only looking out for Oksana, but I'm also looking out for Mark. It goes both ways I know spirit users are more capable of handling it, but we aren't."

I didn't like the idea of being held back and appearing weak before them, but I'm not about to put their sanity on the line.

"Ros-"

"Look, as I said once a week or nothing is your choice. I'm good with both," I said as my final argument. I wouldn't twice a week, but I wasn't about to tell them.

"That's the best deal you'll have from her. You're not going to change her mind" Dimitri came into the leaving room. He had a smile on his face and a tray with food.

I looked away from his smile. Why is it always easier for me to be mad at him?

Before anybody could say anything, my stomach spoke causing Karo, and Dimitri to laugh.

"Here, my mother said that this would be good for you." He said in a gentle voice that I've come to hear a few times.

"Thanks." I took the tray and carefully placed it on my laps. It had a bowl of hot soup that looked questionable, but at the moment, It seemed too good. It also had a few pieces of that mouthwatering black bread, and orange juice.

"Shouldn't you be helping your sister clean up the kitchen?" I asked him.

"My mother found out that she lied to her. So I'm off the hook for now," he said a bit too smug.

"Hmm"

As I began to eat, I noticed that I was once more alone with Dimitri on the couch. I don't know how I should be feeling about that.

Not too long ago, he had said that people could exist without interaction, and at this moment, he was acting and talking just as he used to be.

I have to be focused on it.

Dimitri made his decisions, and I made mine.

A few weeks ago there was a raid, and of course, my mom had to be the first one to volunteer, and she was close to coming home. I met her halfway, hoping that I could catch the last of the fight and go home together, but all I found were nightmares. Then after being able to turn Dimitri back to a dhampir, I thought that at least some of my life was going to go back to normal, but he said it 'Love Fades Mine Has' it tore me even more.

The void kept growing and then I get a call from Paul telling me that the man that abused Nina, that the man that used to beat me up for protecting Nina came back, but this time I got there just in time,

Last night I went into battle and had my revenge, and at last, the prodigal son returned, and he is sitting right next to me. And to top it all off, Viktoria keeps taunting me. Accusing me of not loving her brother, of not belonging to this family. In some ways, she's right, and as I look at Dimitri, I come to a conclusion I may not belong to this family, but I'm willing to suffer for them. I owe them that much.

"Hey, you-. Why are you looking at me like that?" Dimitri asked me with a smile on his face.

"Huh?" I asked, refocusing my attention in the present.

"Sorry, I was just… remembering something," I said shaking my head

"Rose…" He insisted. Dimitri knew very well that I was hiding something.

"I'm fine. Just a bit light-headed, but other than that, I'm good to go. As soon as these stitches come off, I'm heading out." I said. He nodded.

"You knew I was coming." He stated.

"Not for sure. Other things played out." I said.

"Like What?" He asked.

"Not sure." I lied. Of course, I knew, but he already had too much guilt to deal with, he didn't need more.

"No one knows you're here?" he asked.

" No. Except for Abe and you, and I want to keep it like that." I said. I was quietly warning him not to tell Lissa that I'm here.

"Rose. tell me"

"There's nothing to tell you, Nothing that you haven't heard before. It's the price we all have to pay at some point, and suddenly you get used to it." I said, trying to stay calm.

"Rose, I want to help you," He said with concern.

"Help. Sure I need help, and here I thought I was the crazy one." I said in a chillingly, calm voice.

"Rose-"

"No, you just don't get it, don't you? One minute you're telling me that the best thing you can do to repay me is to stay away, and here you are offering help, and I'm sure if I try to get any closer to you, you'll just push me away" I said, my voice gradually increasing.

"Look, I only asked Abe to bring you over so that you don't-" I cut myself off. I was only going in circles with this argument. I placed the tray on the table facing him. I told him the cruel reality.

"Weeks ago, my mother died in my arms. Abe can hardly stand being under the same roof as me, and days after I - Lissa- had turned you back into a dhampir, and just two days ago, I beat up an intruder, and that same night I settled a score and collected a life debt. If you want to help me, let me go. Let me disappear, let me give up on everyone and everything. For once, let me be selfish and let me grieve in peace without a time limit. For once, I don't want to be strong for anybody for once I want to feel safe. I want to feel-" I was cut off by someone coming into the living room.

I turned away. I was getting ready to bolt out.

"What's wrong, Vika?" Dimi asked.

"I came to give Rose her phone, and someone is asking for your opinion." I reached out for my phone. I looked at the caller ID, and it was Hans.

" Guardian Croft," I answered.

"Finally, I need you here, asap."

I sighed, "I can't. I'm in Turkey, and since Abe is taking some time off, I'm at the head of the company, and i'll be having a meeting soon." Dimitri and Viktoria looked at me, amazed at how the lies were smoothly pouring out of my mouth.

"и вот как она отговорила себя от неприятностей" Viktoria mumbled. Which Dimitri only nodded in agreement.

" Fine, then give me your opinion on Belikov's situation."

I stood up and left the house. Dimitri and Viktoria didn't stop for very different reasons.

"Give him Christian and his title back. Christian Ozera is not a good mark on a Guardian's record. In exchange, I step down from my position. I quit. I need to focus on my father's business, and I need space from everything that has happened. I'm sure you can be very understanding of what I'm asking of you."

"Very well, you will be released from all your guardian duties and obligations. Your Weapons are-" I interrupted him immediately.

"Those are mine they were not assigned to me I found them, so they're mine," I said a bit possessive, but I wasn't about to let the guardians take them away from me

"Very well then, I'll have Beli- Guardian Belikov restored to his official status. In a month."

With that, I went back inside the house, and my head began to spin, but I pushed it aside.

"что ты имеешь в виду она встала и вышла" Nina

"она говорила по телефону и ушла" Viktoria

Russian gibberish.

"Um. I need help. Everything is spinning." With that, I got their attention. Olena quickly guided me to the couch...again.

"What's going on?" Karolina came from the kitchen.

"Sorry for causing so much fuss, but for once, I have great news." I tried to joke, but mostly everyone just grimaced at it.

Viktoria snorted. "Does it include you leaving the house permanently?"

Almost everyone sent her a glare. I looked behind them right into Yevas eyes. I saw understanding.

"Dimitri can have his title back, and his position as a guardian, but the only thing that is different is that you are now Christian Ozera's guardian, and you'll be back in duty in a month," I said with the most glee I could muster.

The house erupted with cheers and laughter. How is it that I never noticed that this family was overwhelming?

I began to melt into the background and began to collect the things I changed from the baggy clothes for my own.

I was tempted to take them with me, but I couldn't.

After all the pain I had caused this family, I'm finally paying my debt.

I went out through the back door. I heard them speaking, and I was able to catch the words proud, happy, grateful, and I was inside the car.

I drove away, never looking back.

 **ALL TRANSLATIONS ARE FROM GOOGLE SO DON'T SHOOT.**

и вот как она отговорила себя от неприятностей:

and that's how she talked herself out of trouble

что ты имеешь в виду она встала и вышла

what do you mean she got up and went out

она говорила по телефону и ушла

she spoke on the phone and left

 **I hope you guys are enjoying this version of the story. I'm almost finished fixing everything, and very soon I will start uploading more chapters.**

 **Review:)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA**

 **Enjoy:)**

"I'm sorry, Miss Hathaway, but we can't allow you to board the plane, not in your physical state."

"Miss Mazur, we appreciate your generosity, but we can't allow you."

"We are sorry, Miss Hathaway, but no matter what type of family ties you have, we can't let you board the plane."

"Miss Mazur, if you don't go back to your bed, I'll be forced to call your father."

Just like that, I spent my morning trying and failing miserably to leave Russia by plane. I was denied every plane ticket. They wouldn't accept my family rights more like the fame of being Abe's only daughter. They firmly rejected all types of bribery.

Of all the crazy and reckless plans that I've come up with, this one was the one to backfire.

This only leaves me with two options.

Okay.

Fine. I've got three options.

One: I go by train.

Two: I go by car.

Three: I go back to the house/ stay at a hotel.

Then, the rational part of me kicked in. If I go by train, the ride will be bumpy, but if I drive myself as far as I'm able to go, I'll put unnecessary strain on my wounds.

For that reason, I'm heading back to the house, making a quick stop at the grocery store. While I was making the sandwich for Nina, I made a list of the needed groceries plus a few favorite snacks.

Once I arrived at the house, I began to see other people coming along with me and reminding me a little too much of Dimitri's funeral.

Dimi.

I went to the back and opened the trunk. Immediately I noticed people making a chain to pass down the groceries. I just smiled and began handing down the bags.

While I was taking down the last of the bags, someone spoke.

"What other tragedy are you going to bring this time?" I looked behind me, and I saw a girl around Viktoria's age. I placed the grocery bags on the ground.

"Sorry. Who are you?" I asked as I turned back to close the trunk and locked it.

"Someone you should watch out for," She said with her eyes trying to intimidate me—good thing I got used to Abe's glares to the point where I'm immune.

'Wasn't enough what you did last time you were here?" she came up to me. Naturally, I straightened my back, picked up the bags, and took a step to the side, and went inside the house to drop them off. It had taken me off guard, not quite sure what to do.

I was only able to get to the living room when I felt someone pull me by my left arm along with my stitches.

"Damm it!" growled, dropping the bags to the floor.

I turned to look at the person. It turns out she was following right behind me.

"Okay. That's it." I took a step forward, getting right into her personal space. "Look, I don't know who you are, I don't know what you are talking about, and all I know is that a scrawny little brat is up my face taunting me about who knows what, and has me spilling my blood on the carpet," I growled at her, and gave her a real death glare.

It had thrown me off for someone so open to blame for something like this. Last time was Ryan blaming me for Mason's death. Before I could say anything, I looked behind her and saw Dimitri looking straight at me. I swear I could see him thinking that I was provoking the crowd. Once I saw him get an earshot. I pulled my arm away from her grasp, and I could see her nails stained with my blood.

"Everything alright here?" Dimitri asked. I had half a mind to act like a spoiled brat, but I got a better idea.

"Sure thing Guardian Belikov," I said with a smile. This was too funny to let it slip by. I glanced at Dimitri, and I swear I saw him trying to hide a smile.

"We were just catching up seeing as I left in such a rush," I said with the fakest smile. So help me he played along, but he was wary when he looked between her and me. "You weren't about to start a fight, were you?" He asked.

I stared at him. "Of course not. I don't start fights where people can see them." I said offended that he would think so little of me. To prove my point further, this girl pointed her finger at me. " Listen to you frickin pic-" she was interrupted by none other than Sonya. "Is that blood on your hand?" she asked.

She was pulling on her wrist for close examination. Next thing I knew, I had Sonya hovering over my arm, indirectly pushing the other girl away from me. I was stunned at the attention that I was receiving. I pulled away and fled to the bedroom that I was staying in.

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 **Please for the love of everything you hold dear. Stay home. I understand it's difficult to stay at home during this pandemic. I am a claustrophobic person, and I know it's difficult.**

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